The Amateur Marriage is a story of a marriage, told with ten year gaps between chapters, allowing the novel to reflect the ups and downs of life as it is impacted by events in the world, and changing social attitudes, but most of all the development and growth (and ultimatley decay) of a relationship between husband and wife. The titls of this books is just perfect – all marriages are “amateur” in that nobody trains you or teaches you in advance how to deal with the calamitous events that come along, nor with the basic and fundamental differences between the character and values of the two partners.
The novel starts just before the Second World War, when Michael meets Pauline, and immediately gets swept up into joining the army along with his childhood friends. The young couple barely have time to get to know each other, and when Michael returns early from the war with a gunshot wound, it seems inevitable that they wil marry and set up home together. Children come along, bringing with them the usual stresses and strains on marriage, particularly when the oldest daughter Lindy suddenly walks out of her parents lives to live in San Francisco at the height of the hippy movement.
Ths loss of the child is painfully described, as Michael and Pauline wait anxiously (intially) and resignedly (later) for their daughter to return. It would spoil the book if I was to detail the eventual reunion, but let me say that this brings as many problems as did the eventual departure.
Tyler is a deeply humanistic writer who depicts the complexities of the human condition while making no attempt to judge or comment on what she sees. We see people follow the tracks laid out for them, and we also read of some who broke away, with high, almost unbearable cost on those left behind. The book deals successfully with the themes of romance parentho od, ageing, separation, reunion, and death, but it all the time shot through with the authors concern for her characters and what they show us about our own lives.
I did not enjoy Tyler’s previous book, “Back When We Were Grown-ups” so much, but The Amateur Marriage sees a return to form, in a novel fit to stand alongside the best of her earlier work, Ladder of YEars, Dinner at The Homesick Restaurant, and The Accidental Tourist.
